Say A Little Prayer For Me

Words by Heta Fell

The pandemic has forced us to sit with the discomfort of being alone. I’ve been pondering the daily rituals that provide solace and help me escape the inner noise and, quite frankly, the darkness. 

The explosion of mindfulness apps like Headspace and astrology apps like CHANI during the pandemic has made it clear that we are all searching for something greater than ourselves: clarity, guidance, and hope. 

My Grandma insists I don’t need all that stuff on my phone. She said that I’m not praying enough. Three times a day is what I should aim for, she says. 

She has a point, and she’s not alone. During the pandemic, researchers found that online searches for the word “prayer” soared to their highest level ever in over 90 countries. 

“People pray for several reasons. They pray for specific outcomes; to share their angst and suffering; to show gratitude, and to reflect”, Dr Christina Puchalski, a professor of medicine and health science and director of The George Washington University Institute for Spirituality and Health, told CNN. 

I realised how little my friends and I discuss prayer. While we might share our tarot readings and meditation techniques, there is a strange taboo around prayer because it is so closely associated with religion. I began to ask different friends how they view prayer. I created an Instagram poll with the question, “Do you pray?” Out of 70 friends who responded, 52% of them pray. On WhatsApp, my school mates most commonly said that they don’t pray every day - only at a service or in times of need. 

Over the years, I’ve prayed in different ways. My religion is Jainism and it is grounded in principles of ahimsa (non-violence in body and mind), satya (honesty), samyak jnana (greater understanding and non-attachment to material things) and aparigraha (resourcefulness - not using more than you need). Jainism is rooted in achieving enlightenment through spiritual development. Its practice is very much about how you live your life, but there is a daily prayer called the Navkar Mantra, which I pray at our dedicated shrine at home. I think our relationship to prayer is often linked to our upbringing and I think prayer changes with where you are at in your life. 

Writer, Fauzia Musa, reiterated this idea of her relationship with faith and prayer evolving through the different phases of her life: “I only started truly praying recently, historically praying out of obligation. I was raised Muslim but found myself less of a religious Muslim and more of a cultural one. I'd recite a prayer before flying and upon landing, the basics of piety that would hopefully gain me entrance to heaven. But now I pray because I am discovering spiritual love and knowledge, looking for grounding beyond the consumerism that typically provides me comfort. I pray because it gives me peace, connecting me to healing beyond my means.”

I love the notion of connecting to something bigger, something beyond ourselves, through prayer. This idea of embracing a higher realm, and swapping out capitalism and individualism for something more connected and expansive fills me with hope. 

Larissa Kennedy, President of the National Union of Students UK, told me about the significance of the time she sets aside for prayer, “As a Christian, starting every morning with prayer is really important to me. I use an app called First 15, which means I set aside the first 15 minutes of each day to daily devotion. I play it before I even get out of bed and it just gives me a sense of joy as I’m waking up and it helps me to begin each day feeling grateful, no matter what’s going on in my life or in the world. Plus, I find that starting out the day this way helps me remain centred on purpose and come back to my ‘why’ when I’m making tough decisions or veering off course.”

In addition to prayer being a guiding light, Krista Tippett, famed for her On Being podcast, reflected on the sense of comfort found in prayer. In an episode of Faith in Focus, she explained: “I came to this beautiful and wonderful appreciation of praying words that others have prayed before me, for thousands of years.” She went on to talk about how prayer offered comfort in times of stress and uncertainty. “There was a long period where I prayed Compline (night prayer for the Church of England) every night. My children were young. I was building my project. It was really hard, and there was a lot I was fearful about. Clinging to those prayers gave my fear and anxiety a place to rest, bringing it before God. It was like a container for me when life [was] chaotic.”  

Numerous studies have shown prayer can reduce feelings of isolation, anxiety and fear. "Rituals, in general, serve a calming function," Ryan Bremner, an associate professor of psychology at the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota, told CNN. "They distract the mind which might otherwise go down one of those rabbit holes of useless worry."

There is a distinction between people identifying themselves as spiritual versus religious when it comes to praying. There seems to be a growing camp that pray without it being bound to a specific religion. Artist, Katrina Santa Ana-Jose, shared more about her spiritual practice: “I pray with my son Valentine to clarify intention and create a mental practice around gratitude and dedication to the growth we wish to see. No Gods. But all Gods. The everything. The ether. The self. The spirit. I think in deep manifesting, the reflections and guidance come through listening to one’s spirit”.

Despite religious attendance in most parts of the world declining (2018 survey by the Pew Research Center), the pandemic has seen more young people turning to spirituality in all its forms, going inwards and backwards in search of meaning. Larissa Kennedy observed, “For those, I know who have rejected organised religion, they’re usually still connected to faith in some way, often themselves researching forms of faith that were erased, demonised and invisibilized by colonialism, like traditional African spirituality or the histories, connecting with the ancestors, or voodoo in the Caribbean, for example. I love that folks are recovering and rediscovering things that were stripped from us.”

Fashion designer Grace Wales Bonner has referred to spirituality and mysticism as a “means to imagine other spaces, other worlds”. Central to her Serpentine exhibition A Time For New Dreams in 2019 were evocations of shrines, places of prayer and worship. She told i-D, “I think it was really about trying to have experiences which could really enrich that kind of contemplation and meditation. A slowing of time and a different way of thinking about time: it’s very much about finding new ways to think about belief. I see the shrine as [an] access point into other spiritual realms or other histories or connections to ancestors”. 

I love the concept of prayer as a portal to greater perception on this completely alternative level, building a greater understanding of self, our people, our history, the broader universe and new worlds. The I May Destroy You creator, Michaela Coel, has talked at length about having an experience of “something beyond” and letting that guide her words when she writes. In her masterful Vulture profile, E Alex Jung wrote: “Michaela Coel is not a Christian anymore, but the spirit has never left her... She cries and cries and cries as she writes because it all feels so big — the pain, the ecstasy—and whether you call that thing God or the cosmos or simply inspiration, she isn’t sure, but she knows it is holy and precious. ‘I can’t name what that is, because I’m never going to know,’ she says. ‘I open myself up as a vessel for the story to come through.’”

Larissa Kennedy added, “In a world that’s often pretty bleak for young Black folks, trying to reimagine the world through prayer and faith—whatever that faith looks like—can spark magic”.

I wonder about the worlds that we are closing ourselves off to if we are not exploring our own relationship with faith. In a moment of absolute synchronicity, as I finish this piece, another app pops up on my phone with my daily affirmation. It reads: “Say a little prayer.” 

I put away my phone. I think they’re on to something.

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