Tarot Divine
Finding the power and tenderness of Tarot with Yuri Priestxss.
As I draw the Three of Swords and The Chariot in Reverse from my tarot deck, I’m reminded that only by acknowledging deep pain are we able to fully experience the freedom of joy. It was my first experience of genuine grief that brought me to this place of stillness and contemplation.
My father died suddenly of a heart attack at the end of 2018. Looking back at it now, this was the catalyst for my spiritual re-awakening. I say re-awakening because I was obsessed with ghosts, witchcraft, and anything occult as a child and teen. I saw these things as a regular part of my life, even if others didn’t acknowledge them. The sudden uprooting from London to an alienating, very white, very rural part of England did its best to pull me out of the mystical world and push me into the real one. I buried the realm where I felt most comfortable to the back of my mind in submission, and I did my best to fit in.
I moved on in this mode, carving out a career in fashion, but too many years in the industry left me depleted and disconnected from what I truly enjoyed, who I truly was. The past two years have been an intense period of self-reflection; it ignited a rabid questioning of myself and the universe, “What am I truly here to do and how the fuck can I do it?” The universe only intervenes when we’re ready, and for me, this intervention arose when I was trying to re-work a career path. It was at this juncture that Tarot graciously stepped in to give me a helping hand. When I think of this, I imagine my spirit guides, my spiritual team, my gang on the other side saying, “Okay, that’s enough of that shit, get her some cards.”
I began committing every spare minute to study the Tarot, gaining knowledge from texts such as 78 Degrees of Wisdom written by the living trans legend Rachel Pollack. Developing my own practice helped me discover a fresh perspective in an oppressive time; I found freedom from our current dystopian reality, and most importantly, it allowed me to connect with my Dad in a tangible way.
Sitting down to pull the first spread related to him, I felt my stomach somersault. I pulled the card representing my Dad – The King of Pentacles, a card that for me symbolises the King of all that is earthly. It is the grounded and plentiful energy of someone who strives for the real thing, with curiosity and a huge smile – the essence of my Dad’s character. The suit of Pentacles typically represents the earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo) and Earth, and it goes far deeper than a representation of money; it is rooted in illuminating our core values. I pulled more cards to clarify and received the card Death XIII, followed by cards for my mother and brother, which jumped out as I shuffled the deck. I was so shocked by the sequence of cards that I forgot to breathe. Sat on my own, I released my breath as the shock transformed into excitement, relief, and a deep understanding that my Dad was there. That is the true power of the Tarot, the ability to connect us to that which is unseen, an intuitive skill that has become something separate from our dense, waking reality.
I know there may be some people who scoff at the idea of communicating with the other side, and that’s okay; I get it. However, I encourage you to think of the Tarot as a viable tool, one that can be used with or without esoteric leanings. It is a device used by psychotherapists and occultists alike because of the introspection and accountability involved in the process. When used correctly, Tarot allows us to understand ourselves better, thereby getting us closer to personal fulfilment.
Since the first day, I picked up and dealt my own cards, each and every one has been a question, a reminder, and a sharpening of an instrument that had become blunt. Tarot cuts the bullshit and goes straight to the core of self; this is precisely why I think so many people are afraid of it.
In a society where we are taught to bury or run from anything that makes us feel uncomfortable, highlighting the blind spots that we’re actively avoiding may be frightening. Some theorists, many of whom are old white men, dismiss the practice, which I suspect is a refusal to interrogate western medical practices and eschew their inherent bias to learn from other cultures and processes. However, it is only by visiting these uncomfortable places, and parleying with our shadow, that we’re able to heal.
Becoming acquainted with our fears is the most effective way of releasing ourselves from shame or judgement and knowing the truth of our inner experiences. When I have confronted and questioned my fear, I begin to see that the root causes of my discomfort are repressed issues harboured by my inner child. Once written or vocalised, it more often than not sounds completely ridiculous, and it is in this moment that I can release it back to the universe.
The ability to unburden myself from hidden fears and limiting beliefs is what has allowed me to live my life courageously, with complete trust, and with absolute sun-streaming-through-the-window abundance. I thank my spiritual team and my flesh and blood family for bringing Tarot into my life and allowing me to spread its happiness and tenderness as far as I am able.
I hope that you can take the invitation given by the Three Swords that upturned the Chariot. Continue on your journey inwards and take some time to sit in whatever pain you may feel in the present. Allow yourself the time to truly alchemise this energy into full and authentic joy and ride your Chariot into the improved future with gratitude and awareness.
Claire Yurika is the former founder of the independent, zero-waste fashion brand HANGER. She is currently a co-founder of CogDis, an intuitive studio working in re-aligning fashion’s internal purpose with external output, alongside building a POC focussed witchcraft community with The High Priestxss.
www.instagram.com/thehaipriestxss
www.instagram.com/cogdis.studio
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