Illustration by Monica Kim Garza.
Sex Tapes #7
Sex Tapes is a series of up front and anonymous interviews about the sex lives of various women.
Are you in a relationship?
No. Well, I live with my ex-boyfriend but it is a purely platonic friendship now.
How often do you have sex?
It depends. It could be three times a day (or more) if I stay over with someone I am into. Sometimes I don't have sex for a whole month. Right now, it has been 9 days since I last had sex.
Do you like having sex
Yes!
What’s your favourite thing to do when with a partner?
I love to get in that mood where you are just talking and everything is sexual already—every glance, the silence in between words. Kissing. Dissolving in the moment. I really enjoy choking on a dick and eating pussy but it is so much better when you want to submerge in the other person.
What do you not like to do?
Anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. It is not about what I physically do it’s more about the person I am with.
Do you sometimes do things you don’t particularly like? Why?
Sometimes I do things that are on the edge of what I like, just to find out what it is I like. Sometimes I have sex with someone I am not super into just because I want to have sex.
Do you fake orgasms?
Sometimes.
Do you masturbate? If yes how often?
Yes. There are days that I masturbate three times in a row. Sometimes I don't do it for a few weeks.
Do you cheat on your partners? If yes why?
No. Of course there have been moments that I wanted to have sex with people outside of the relationship I was in. I tried to find a way to be honest and find a solution. I have been in non-monogamous relationships.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Technically I don't think so, but I have felt betrayed and cheated on. It was hard. In the end it helps to think it does not have much to do with you. You don't have to take it personally.
What’s the best sex you’ve ever had and why?
With this guy I used to see. We were not exclusive but we were in love. We just could not get enough of each other. We are both pleasers and I think he is a skilled lover, but most of all our bodies just fit together wonderfully and we had crazy chemistry. It was fun and hot, nothing felt awkward or gross.
What’s been the worst sex you’ve ever had?
With some people I feel indifferent and I don't like that. It is also bad when people get too rough too soon, when there is no attention to what my body wants in that moment.
What do you fantasize about?
A threesome with two men. Wild animals. Being stuck on an island with someone I like. A sexy food fight at a supermarket. People going down on me.
Would you ever act on your fantasies?
Yes. Turns out that now I regularly sleep with girls and sometimes have threesomes. I don't fantasise about them that often anymore.
What do you wish someone had told you about sex before you started having it?
There is nothing I wish someone had told me about sex before I started having it. The advice I would give myself at that age is much broader, but also applies to sex: do not be afraid or ashamed to be yourself. Be clear about what you want and what you don't want. Be safe and have fun!