Illustration by Monica Kim Garza.
Sex Tapes #1
Sex Tapes is a series of up front and anonymous interviews about the sex lives of various women.
Are you in a relationship?
Yes
How often do you have sex?
Once a month but it’s been ages since we last had sex.
Do you like having sex?
It’s ok. I sometimes avoid it as it’s too much effort and I don’t always come.
What’s your favourite thing to do when with a partner?
I like it when we’re both into it and I feel like we used to. It’s not exactly what we’re doing to each other it’s more a mood, it doesn’t always happen.
What do you not like to do?
I don’t like giving blow jobs that much. My boyfriend has got quite a big penis and it takes a while so my face aches for days after.
Do you sometimes do things you don’t particularly like? Why?
No, not really.
Do you fake orgasms?
Yes.
Do you masturbate? If so how often?
Only when I’m desperate. Maybe once every six months. Not because I think it’s dirty or anything I just don’t get the urge and I have three kids so time alone is premium.
Do you cheat on your partners? If yes why?
Yes. I’ve cheated on my boyfriend three times in the last ten years. First when we’d just got together and it was a random guy on a hen do. One was with an ex and the other was someone at work. I was bored, I wanted attention and my boyfriend had cheated on me so I felt like I could. I know this doesn’t sound very healthy but we know about each other’s affairs and we’ve talked about them.
“I think monogamy is overrated, I think if we were more realistic we’d find new ways of being together. ”
Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes. I think all of my boyfriend’s have cheated on me. I don’t really take it to heart that much though. I think monogamy is overrated, I think if we were more realistic we’d find new ways of being together. Having sex with someone else or being emotionally involved with someone else doesn’t have to be this ultimate betrayal.
What’s the best sex you’ve ever had and why?
When me and my boyfriend connect it’s the best but like I say it doesn’t always happen.
What’s been the worst sex?
Towards the end of my last affair the guy knew it was going to end so he got really bitter. He tried a few times to degrade me and it was really upsetting - that someone who I’d trusted and had strong feelings for would make me feel so trashy. He got really rough and when I asked him to stop he shouted at me and then wanked really aggressively onto the pillow. It was bizarre.
What do you fantasize about?
Things I’ve seen on TV. I sometimes watch porn so I’ll think of what I’ve watched. I worked with a guy ages ago who I never slept with but I fantasize about. Weird things like a BMW car salesmen as well?! I don’t know why.
Would you ever act on your fantasies?
Well I can’t afford a BMW!
What do you wish someone had told you about sex before you started having it?
To take the pill at the same time everyday and then I might not have got pregnant so much by constantly missing days and trying to catch up by having four in one day.