Rosamund Dean

Rosamund is a writer and Contributing Editor at Grazia. In 2020 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, something she writes about in a regular column for The Sunday Times. She lives in London with her husband and two children.

How are you feeling about things in general at the minute?

Optimistic. Being diagnosed with breast cancer made me so aware that life is short. In the future, I fully intend to stress less and have more fun.

What are some of the things you know now that would have helped you when you were first diagnosed?

I wish I’d learned earlier to embrace unpredictability. Every cancer is different—even with breast cancer, there are so many different types—and your cancer journey is yours alone. I wanted someone to tell me what caused my cancer, and what will cure it. That doesn’t happen, it’s all very trial and error. The lack of certainty feels so destabilising. On a practical level, I wish I’d had micro-blading before my eyebrows fell out during chemo!

Is there a piece of advice or particular guidance you lean on when things are hard?

One night, when I was feeling emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed, my seven-year-old son held my hand and tapped the end of each of my fingers, while chanting: “one, two, three, four, five / I am still alive.” It was weirdly exactly what I needed to hear. Having cancer is supremely shit, but I’m still here, so I’m very much one of the lucky ones.

What are some of the unexpected things that have brought you peace or joy over the last 18 months?

In a year that many people moved out of cities, I have found unexpected peace and joy here in London. I went to Barts hospital regularly for chemo in the first half of this year and, being in central London during lockdown, when it was still and beautiful, gave me a renewed appreciation for this city. And I’m lucky to live in Walthamstow, where Epping Forest and Hollow Ponds are on our doorstep, so we have the best of both worlds.

How has the last 18 months influenced your outlook on life?

I used to drift through life not thinking too much about the future, but now my outlook has changed drastically in two ways.

First, I’m obsessed with longevity—I want to be around for as long as possible, so am looking after myself better than I ever have, by prioritising nutrition, sleep, friendships, meditation and exercise.

Secondly, I’m keenly aware that life is short—and might be shorter than you think—so I try to enjoy every day. This attitude means I’m more relaxed in response to stress or criticism, I’m more patient with my kids and I no longer sweat the small stuff.

What would you like your next 18 months to be full of?

Fun, adventure and hair growth!

What is your cultural balm for when you're feeling overwhelmed?

During chemo, my husband and I had “romcom Fridays”. After the kids were in bed, we’d watch a classic romantic comedy: from When Harry Met Sally to 10 Things I Hate About You. I no longer wanted to watch any important, serious dramas. I just wanted to laugh and watch hot people fall in love.

What is your ultimate escape when you’ve had enough of everything?

I never used to have baths—I used to think, “who’s got the time?” But now I love nothing more than running a deep bath, filling it with salts (Epsom or Deep Sea, none of your fragranced stuff), lighting an organic candle, listening to a podcast and relaxing until my fingers go wrinkly. It’s the best.

Is there a food dish you always turn to when you need comfort?

I love a hearty breakfast or brunch, so anything involving eggs and a large chunk of bread - and ideally avocado, grilled tomato and halloumi - basically brunch with everything thrown at it.

What gives you hope?

So many things: the miracles of science, the healing power of nature. And young people! I’m 41 now, and Gen Z are so much more aware and engaged than my friends and I were 20 years ago. I feel like the planet is in good hands with them.

@rosamunddean

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