In Waiting
A study of time suspended—waiting on the arrival of a new baby and a new identity.
Photography by Tori Ferenc
For many of us, the pandemic was a time of limbo. It was a time of waiting—waiting to see loved ones, waiting for lockdown to end and for things to “get back to normal”. For photographer Tori Ferenc, it was all of these things but it was also a time awaiting the arrival of her daughter.
Finding herself unable to leave the house and unable to see her family in Poland, Tori turned the camera on herself and her surroundings to document this period of suspension. Tori explains how the project came about, “Since we were initially unable to travel and see our families in Poland, the pregnancy became an intimate experience I shared with my husband. Limited mostly to the space of our apartment, I turned the camera on us. I began documenting our lives in this transformative moment, and I have continued doing so with the arrival of our daughter.”
The images from the period have an intense light; painterly and erotic in their anticipation of what was to come. “I was influenced by the Renaissance painters and inspired by my own surroundings,” Tori says of her inspiration. “I have used the intense available light in our apartment to capture the anxieties and joys of first-time parenthood. The shadow and light play a central role in this work, reflecting the complexity of early motherhood with its highs and lows.”
But this project is more than clever light play and domestic set design bathed in the glorious spring sunlight of 2020. A mundane reality clings to every image and evokes a feeling of claustrophobia, a feeling many associate with motherhood and the various lockdowns we collectively experienced. “Doing this project has become a testimony of my own motherhood, but also a way to cope with its challenges. This deeply personal work has turned into a form of visual diary, allowing me to explore my own boundaries on both sides of the lens.”
In Waiting also features self-portraits of Tori in various states of motherhood. She wanted to document this time in her own life as it wasn’t just about waiting for her daughter to arrive, it was about Tori herself waiting to become a mother and facing all that comes with that. “Something that often gets forgotten when a firstborn comes into this world, is that it is birth not only of a child but also of a mother. It is a metamorphic experience for the whole family - it changes the relationship dynamic and the way we look at our own parents. First-time pregnancy and early parenthood are riddled with doubts and fears. Will everything be okay with the baby? Is labour going to hurt? How will this new role change me? In my own experience, these feelings were heightened as I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of the global pandemic.”
Tori’s work will be on show as part of the Show Off section at Kraków Photomonth opening at ZPAF Gallery (św. Tomasza 24, Kraków) on the 26th May running until 26th June 2022.
